


Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief: Demigod Parody

by LionofSagami



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, percy jackson - Fandom
Genre: Adventure, F/M, Humor, Parody
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2020-09-28 07:28:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20422196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LionofSagami/pseuds/LionofSagami
Summary: A re-reading of the early adventures of Percy Jackson, but like the ancient myths, there are some different interpretations, unexpected characters, exaggerated events and some random pops references.





	1. Chapter 1

_ **Chapter One:** _

_ **Percy frightens a teacher who nobody likes and nobody cares** _

Percy would be lying that he never wanted to be a demigod instead of living a mortal life like all other people, but would soon rethink about it. In fact, he would not have thought of any of this if he had not been on a school excursion to a natural history museum.

And at least Professor Firenze Brunners was responsible for the students and the only Yancy Academy teacher who did not want to kill Percy or brainwash. In front of a Greek statue, Mr. Brunners asked:

"Can anyone tell me what this obviously fake statue, created in the eighteenth century, is trying to represent?"

Almost all the students were distracting with their cell phones, except Percy made the mistake of staring at the statue, which showed a giant man eating something that vaguely looked like tiny humans. Percy pondered for a moment and said,

"That's a titan devouring humans!"

Thunder was heard and Brunners arched an eyebrow:

"Yes, this is a titan, but who is this titan? And if I were you, I would not call these little men human if I wanted to live for a long time ..."

"I'm not sure; it looks like a stupid titan devouring a stupid legion of reconnaissance legion."

After a brief moment of silence, there was one more bang. Mr. Brunners corrected:

"No, Jackson. Not that kind of titan ..."

"Mr. Brunners, you impostor, we were looking for you!"

They all turned to see Mrs. Dodds with a police woman and a nurse holding a straight jacket for some reason. Mr. Brunners does not seem surprised:

"You should be looking in the mirror, your _megera_! In fact I do not know why I did not get rid of you sooner, but let me dispense my class out of the museum!"

Percy knew that Mr. Brunners liked to swear in Latin so no one understood and it was something like vixen, but he would also laugh at a figure in Greek mythology that he did not remember. Maybe Megara, the wife of Hercules?

The cop frowned and looked at Mr. Dodds.

"Did he call you Megaera? If you were going to use my real name, why did I have to be Meg? "

"It's better than Tis, just because we can not think of anything that looks like Tisphone," the nurse complained.

"Stop we are the benevolent ones for a reason! We have to do the dirty work of the gods who do not want to bother with every human or inconvenient centaur who irritates them!"

Then Mr. Brunners nodded, winking at Mr. Tumnus, who really was a colleague of Percy's called Grover Tumnus, but he seemed old enough to be an early-career teacher. For some reason Grover gnawed his nails looking startled at the three women approaching and exclaimed,

"Yes, we have to go the pack right now, come with me Percy!"

The other students paid no attention to the women, but followed Brunners' orders as they gazed distractedly at the cell phone, commenting on how bored they were. Except for Percy because his cell phone had been stolen by Nancy Bobofit, self-declared as most popular kleptomaniac of New York.

They were up to an open courtyard of the museum, next to a convenient fountain. Grover looked away and murmured to Percy,

"Are you a son of Adam?"

"What!?"

"It's rhetoric! Do not you know the reference? You really need to understand the reference, to prove that you are a demigod enough enough for me not to worry about those crazy old women! "

Before Percy could process what Grover said, he heard Nancy shout,

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is my hundredth video showing my latest robbery in the face of this too stupid victim to fight back!"

Nancy was filming Percy and Grover as she extended Percy's stolen cell phone, but the position made the phone block the camera's sights. Percy complained:

"You know, maybe you could be a really competent thief if you did not shoot your crimes! And give me back my cell phone! "

"Hey, have you stolen anything here? I'm the professional thief here and I demand respect from your ... ".

Nancy was overturned by a spurt of water, which emerged from the spring. Although she was in a good position to realize this, she had already decided that that week, Percy would be guilty of everything. "Hey, I get attacked by Percy because I'm a bully who stole his cell phone!"

No one paid attention, so Nancy quickly wrote a text on the stolen cell phone and they all screamed in amazement, but just glanced sideways at Percy and Grover, then quickly re-typed messages about what they saw.

"Percy Jackson! I demand you to come with me now! "Mrs. Dodds exclaimed at the top of the steps to the museum.

She had no glasses on, her hair untied, and there was a small cut on her chin as if she'd gotten into a fight. Percy sighed,

"Well, I think I'm going to be kicked out of school just like it's since kindergarten. Can I go to my house right now? "

"Yeah, let's get out of here as fast as possible from here, away from this monster and straight to the safety of ..." Grover exclaimed, but then closed his mouth as if he had said too much.

"First, I am a minor deity who serves the lord of darkness, not a random monster. And I know you're a satyr, but I'll guarantee your expulsion from this school, since you're so fond of playing student! "Mrs. Dodds spoke, her eyes widening, creating fangs and feathers in her arms.

"Hey, we should not reveal ourselves to mortals, that violates the secrecy rule of the demigod world!" Grover protested.

"This is the law of the Olympians, not of my beloved Dark Lord who has no throne in Olympus! Moreover, the mist and stubbornness of mortals aid in our disguise! "

"Well, then I will not die for challenging you! Percy stay with me ... Percy? "

Percy, accustomed to running away from kindergarten, was already a few feet away from this strange situation, but Mrs. Dodds flew over Percy, grabbing the collar of his shirt and pulling her into the museum.

They flew over Mrs. Brunners who were lying on the ground, but for some reason their feet had grown in size as the other two women kicked him as they flew hysterically. Percy did not have time to process what was happening and was thrown into another connivingly empty room. Mrs. Dodds exclaimed as she flew:

"Give back the invisibility helm of the Lord of Darkness and I'll kill you a little less painfully!"

"Helm of Invisibility?"

Mrs. Dodds sighed.

"Of course, besides stealing from the Dark Lord, he does not even know the name of it. If you belonged to Zeus, Poseidon or any other Olympian, you would remember! But no, who cares about the invisible helmet of the dark lord, even if it was you who stole it? Or can you at least admit it to the lightning bolt of Zeus? "

"Lightning of Zeus? What are you talking about?"

"Stop playing the fool, or I'll have to do it the funniest way!" Mrs. Dodds smirked, showing her fangs.

"You mean the hard way?"

Mr. Brunners trotted in as he held a pen and shouted,

"Jackson, ignore the strange things and just open that pen that's really a sword and use it to kill this monster, who really is a minor deity."

Percy could not help but notice how strange it was, but Mrs. Dodds replied:

"You again? In fact, why are you protecting these demigods instead of a random camper? And why are you already delivering this special sword of all things? You do not see Hades coming here personally to threaten him! "

Mrs. Brunners grimaced:

"You talk too much to my taste! Jackson, watch a demonstration! "

In the meantime, Tisphone and Megaera flew in as they held Grover and passed over Brunners who quickly hit both with their sword, causing them to drop Grover, who jumped on some statues like a mountain goat. The two flew hysterically and went to meet Mrs. Dodds.

Brunners threw the sword, managing to hit all three and fall at Percy's feet. But as soon as he took the sword, the three women seemed to be turning into golden liquor although it still managed to fly. Megaera complained:

"That's not fair, only we can hurt people!"

"Let the lord of darkness know that, you little thief! And you too, you stupid horse! "Tisphone whined.

"Enough, the only reason we have difficulty killing a simple demigod is because of Fates's will, but at least we can deliver the warning! And by the way, my name is Alecto! Remember that, your thief! "Alectus quickly flew out the window, along with the sisters, though they took even more giving because the window was closed.

Percy blinked trying to process what he had just seen, then turned and saw Grover helping Mr. Brunners sit in the wheelchair. Percy wasted no time:

"What just happened?"

"Happen what? I have not jumped on the statues like a mountain goat, especially since I have difficulty walking and need help from that crutch! "Grover flushed.

"And how did you help Mr. Brunners sit in a wheelchair without the help of the crutch? Anyway, did you guys see what happened to Mrs. Dodds? "

"Do not worry Jackson, the important thing is that I'm already in my wheelchair. And do not worry about this imaginary bird woman you just told me. "

"I never said I saw this and if I'm wondering, how can you guess that? And where did that sword pen come from that you threw for me? Hey, she was right in my hand! "

Suddenly a blond, cheerful woman came in and greeted Mr. Brunners.

"Where were you? My name is Mrs. Kerr, I've been an Algebra teacher since the beginning of the year! There is not, there was not and there will never be a Mrs. Dodds, especially if she had become a monstrous bird! "

"Hey, I've never seen you before! What if they do not believe me, why do not they look at the security cameras or something? "

Mrs. Kerr shrugged, approached Mrs. Brunners, and whispered in his ear:

"Remember the deal, I will help you in this deception and you will teach the campers about the wonderful Apate, goddess of fraud, otherwise I will make you regret it!"

"All right, Mrs. Apate ... I mean, Mrs. Kerr!" Mr. Brunner rushed, "Jackson, Tumnus! It's late, we're going back to Academy Yancy and pretending nothing strange happened here! Not that someone normal would believe anyway. "

"You're a shame to all fraudulent, Mr. Brunners!"

Then everyone returned to Academy Yancy while Grover tried to persuade Percy that nothing strange happened.


	2. Chapter 2

_ **Chapter 2:** _

** _Beach, fireplace and... An enraged bull? Well, anything is better than more time with Gabe_ **

Percy thought Mrs. Apate Kerr would be nice and would pretend that Percy had taken so many good grades that he would be released for the rest of the year. Unfortunately, she decided to steal every detail of Mrs. Dodds' life, her clothes, her personality, and even a wig that obviously looked very fake. And also included the bad notes of Percy, although she tried to persuade him to give bribes so that she offered good grades.

It was a night before Mr. Brunners' test, and though Percy did not bother to study for the tests, he had been condemned to write a copy of all the books in the library because apparently bully bullies in toilets was not acceptable at that school .

After hours doing the dirty work of the teachers, who probably would not even check Percy's work, he went back to the dorm. Conveniently he passed Mr. Brunners' office while he was having a suspicious conversation with Grover Tumnus. Because Percy had no more interesting things to do, he snooped around.

"Mr. Brunners, we have to get him to camp as soon as possible! Of all possible things, it was a lesser revolted goddess who directly serves you-know-who and that means that there are already deities conspiring against him before he even knows he is a demigod! And they think a random demigod stole it! "

"Do not worry, you heard what that woman said! The Fates will protect him as long as they can and we can assume we'll be able to get her to the camp safely. "

"But ... what if he will come a tree as soon as he gets there, just like it happened to that demigod?" Grover whined.

"I doubt that will happen again and the soul of that young boy is not yet ready for the burden."

"We only have until the summer solstice and he will not have to deal with it by relaxing on a beach while some paranoid god or goddess tries to kill him!" Grover was alarmed.

Percy was worried whether they were drinking or not, but he thought it best not to interfere. It is very likely that he would be the only one accused of offering alcoholic beverages in the middle of the night and being expelled from school.

"Do not worry, we just have to wait for him to leave for the trip as if nothing had happened, getting conveniently close to the camp and you'll have to take action!"

"Great, tomorrow I call Multiple Eyes and other campers to get him off the bus and drive straight to the camp!" Grover cheered.

"No, he needs to get to the summer house and spend some time with his mother. It will be risky for everyone, but that's what Fates want. "

"Well, what's the point of the goddess of news leaking spoilers if we can never do anything about what's predestined?"

"Because some people like spoilers, they even pay for it and you should never challenge fate. Now go to sleep that tomorrow you have tests to do! "

Grover would complain, but he paused for a moment and sniffed.

"What is that smell? Is there a demigod us spying behind the door? Is that you, Percy? Come in and leave us ... "

There was a noise and Percy only heard Mr. Brunners' voice.

"I warned you, now if you stay quiet for a few moments the Fates rope will disappear soon."

Instinctively Percy walked away and went to the bedroom, though he thought he was already dreaming. The next day he did tests as fast as possible and without thinking twice as he probably would not be able to finish the year before being expelled.

And somehow he was the last to finish because the students did not even bother to pay attention to the exams. When Percy gave the exam, he said,

"I tried my best, but it's no use anyway, because I've already failed in other subjects."

"Do not worry about the other Muggle subjects, but focus on my class because that's what you'll need for the rest of your life!"

"Well, the other teachers also say the same about you."

"Well, I've already said that they are irrelevant Muggles, but you're special in your own way, Jackson and it's like a mutant between supposedly normal people!"

"Thank you, I think." Percy responded in disarray.

"Do not feel bad, Percy. Have pride, mutant pride! "

"Okay, I've already understood that I'm not normal and my biology teacher has already said that."

"You need a special place for you because you're not normal, you know what I mean?"

"Yes, that's one of the few things I can forget. See you!"

Mr. Brunners was going to try to say something more inappropriate, but he gave up.

Later, Percy was at the bus station, and then Grover appeared from nowhere.

"Where do you think you're going without firing your friend?"

"Believe me, I'm just trying to mislead people about where I live."

"Well, I think you could show me where you live since we're a roommate."

"You would be so shocked by the mess that it will look like you saw Megara."

"It's Medusa, and Megara was Hercules's first wife!"

"Great, I already know that I missed an answer on Mr. Brunners' test, not that I mind."

"Do not tell Hercules or Megara, wait ... those three old women are looking at you?"

Grover whispered not to draw even more attention, but Percy simply turned and saw three old women knitting a huge stocking, there are only six feet of them. Grover murmured:

"The Multiple Eyes van did not come thanks to them, but at least I bought the ticket to accompany you. Percy, come with me right now! "

"Goat bad behaved!" Grunted the first old woman.

"Trying fate, you'll face the consequences!" The second old woman complained, showing a so-premiere sock that looked like it was made for an animal with hooves.

"It will be locked for the convenience of our plot!" The latter exclaimed exceedingly dramatic.

"Spare me your horrible puns!" Grover shouted, shaking the ticket.

Somehow, the ticket slipped out of his hand and flew off with a strong wind, taking it to dozens of feet high. Grover ran out to get:

"Percy, wait for me here!"

Percy hesitated, but decided to continue the journey alone so Grover would not see the horrible house where he lived. It was in New York, in Manhattan, in a seemingly simple, generic building. But inside, it was one of the most destroyed apartments in the city's history.

Percy's room was even worse than when he'd left, probably because his stepfather decided to turn the room into an office, playroom, dining room, party room, laundry room, and garbage dump. Percy spotted what appeared to be the bed and tossed the backpack that began to sink into the rubble. Suddenly, Sally burst in excitedly without paying attention to the mess:

"Percy, I run away from my desk just to see you ASAP!"

"Layered beans, Sally!" Someone shouted from the other side of the apartment.

"It's not fair, Mom, I would have run away from school too early if I knew you could approve of that!" Percy joked.

"Layered beans in fifteen minutes!" Someone yelled.

"I have great news, we'll be going to the beach!"

Suddenly, Gabe Ugliano jumped into the room with everything and fell face down on the floor screaming beans in layers. He fell so hard that when he got up, all the dirt on the floor stuck to him, forming a mark on the floor. Sally sighed,

"Alright, I'll make a bunch of beans layered for you, but me and Percy will be leaving soon for the trip."

"I do not remember asking that, but be careful with my car! And kid, it does not cause any extra scratches! "

"There's so much damage, I doubt you'd realize," Percy replied.

"I'm not that stupid, I photographed all the damage my car already has to know the difference!" Gabe scoffed, picking up a cell phone that showed a bearded man holding a trident.

"Hey, this is my cell phone!" Sally grunted.

"It was your cell phone, now make my beans in layer before my partners, paid with their hard earned salary, arrive and want me to share! And I hope you are not keeping any for yourselves! "

"If you have then it is most likely blue, especially made for my son!"

"Hey, I do not even want to know if it's true! Where do you get these things from? "

After delivering all the beans in prepared layer in advance, Sally and Percy quickly picked up Gabe's old car and left for the summer house. After a few hours, they arrived at the old house that was very modest and old, but at least Gabe was not there.

"Percy, have you ever asked how a poorly paid candy store employee, with half of the salary being stolen by a tenant, manages to maintain a summer house and an apartment in Manhattan for more than a decade?" Sally said as she settled into a old sofa.

"Is my father the god of wealth and secretly sending money to us?"

There was a crash and probably the light would have blinked if it had not already been burned, so the room was still being lit by a fireplace. Sally considered for a moment, looking sideways, as if a wrong answer would attract chance, then ignored Percy's reply as a joke.

"No, that belonged to your father for more than three hundred years, in which it happened ... Several types of adventures, including when I found your father fainted on the beach, I rescued him and fell in love. For some reason, he started trying to eat flowers and almost broke the television, "Sally said with longing.

"Yes, as you have said before, then he disappeared on the seas trying to hunt a monstrous whale or something. It would be better if it were not for a little while before I was born. "

"Percy, I understand what you feel, but he really cares about you, so much so that he warned me where to send you to stay safe."

"Wait, he does not even know I'm alive?"

Someone knocked on the door before Percy sued what he heard, then he stood up to meet the inconvenient visitor. Sally shouted:

"No, Percy! It could be monsters! "

A goat leg pierced the door latch, making Percy retreat. Someone shouted outside:

"Technically right, but I'm not one of those random monsters!"

Then the door fell, revealing the inconvenient visitor.

"Grover? Why did you ... What happened to your legs? "

"Bla-a-a! The pants would only get in my way just like when that teacher tried to kill you! "Grover blinked.

"Your teacher tried to kill you? Percy, what are not you telling me? "Sally looked at Percy.

"Mom, I think I'm the only one who does not understand anything."

Sally wasted no time and pulled them both into the car as if it were the end of the world. While his mother was speeding up the illegal turbines that Gabe had installed in the car, for car racing in the streets, Percy said to Grover,

"Besides my teacher if half bird, now my best friend is half goat?"

"No, I am a satyr, as in Greek myths, furthermore one of the first rules as a camper is to never call a half-goat satyr if you want to have a long life. Lucky I'm your friend. "

"So now you're officially saying I'm not crazy or imagining things?"

"That's right, but we must hurry because while Mr. Dodds wanted to kill you slowly in the name of the justice of the underworld, what is following us wants to kill you because there is nothing better to do!"

"What?"

"Just a little longer ... Wait, why did not I take you here earlier?" Sally complained.

With a crash, the car fell into a valley, but conveniently only Grover was injured. Grover baliu:

"What have Fates got against me?"

"Percy, help me get him out of here!"

As they took Grover out of the wrecked car, they heard a voice in the heavens.

_"I would have hited he if I had my master bolt, not that I missed it or anything like that!"_

_"Honey, do not try fate because if it will not make things worse! He still needs to prove himself and can not die now! "A woman's voice resonated, albeit in a forced way._

_"What? It was just a coincidence that ... Wait, since when did you call me like this? And who left the celestial voice switched on? "_

The voices were gone, and then Percy, Sally and Grover saw what looked like a giant bull-headed man. This was evident when he let out an ominous moo. Grover moaned:

"It's Mr. Moo! We have to hurry up that hill! "

The bull man jumped onto the cliff, falling face down on the car. Percy tried to drag Grover up the hill, but Sally turned away and went to the bull man and said,

"Hey, I'm grateful you detonate Gabe's car even more, but please distract me while my son runs away!"

"Mother!" Percy was startled, almost dropping Grover.

"This is a distraction, Percy! Go to the hill now! "

The Minotaur quickly grabbed her by the throat before she could think of something smarter and her body flashed for a moment and disappeared.

"No!" Percy screamed, dropping Grover.

He rushed over to the Minotaur, who came forward with it, but Percy managed to get under his legs and jumped into their tracks, reaching for the horn as the Minotaur fell to the ground again.

Percy made so much force that he broke the Minotaur's horn, which disintegrated with one last final hum. And holding the horn, Percy fainted with exhaustion as they heard voices of people approaching, asking that they were making so much noise.


	3. Chapter 3

** _Chapter 3:_ **

** _Percy goes to the camp, becomes the king of the bathroom and brings new opportunities for all_ **

Percy dreamed a gray-eyed blonde girl holding his wrist as another woman was ordering other people to look some monsters, as well as Mr. Brunners' voice urging everyone to calm down. Before losing consciousness again, he saw a beautiful blond woman holding a camera behind the blond girl as if recording the situation and murmured something strange like:

"Oh, their first meeting, that's so sweet!"

Then he felt a spoonful of popcorn with biscuits being pushed into his mouth, to bring back consciousness. And again, that blonde girl was in front of him, but Percy tried to push her away with what he was holding.

In an instant, the girl's spoon was caught with the Minotaur's horn as if it were a sword fight. The girl said:

"To survive by drinking Ambrosia, having reasonable instincts and being hunted by third-rate monsters, then you certainly are a demigod, though I would never suspect just watching you drool while you sleep!"

Percy realized he was lying on a porch bench. Grover was leaning over the fence, while at the other end Mr. Brunners was a man who looked like a tourist stereotype and who seemed very bored playing cards.

"Hey, could you give me some credit for me? I found him first!" Grover said.

"Annabeth, could you get some space for him in cottage 11?" Mr. Brunners said.

"Maybe he's the one ..." Annabeth mumbled as she left the Big House.

"Grover, you're a creep, you were tracking me and now you took me to some sort of refuge? Have you also used a fake ID?"

"More or less, I'm Grover Underwood and not Grover Tumnus, besides I'm a satyr and do not call me a creep! Come on, I'll show the camp leaders!"

"Percy, welcome to the camp! I'm sorry for taking too long while pretending to be a mediocre teacher in that deplorable school, but I really am called Chiron and from now on I will be a helpful mentor! And this is Mr. D, the director of the camp!"

Percy did not think twice before asking,

"Mr. D? So your real name is Gerry Duncan or do you really call yourself D?"

"If I had a drink for every brat that is brought here and who asks me this, I would even be very drunk, even to my taste!" Mr. D replied by creating a glass of wine out of nowhere.

"Mr. D, remember your restrictions!" Chiron said.

A crash resounded in the heavens and the glass of wine turned into Pepsi Cola. Mr. D looked at Percy and explained,

"My old father, Zeus, recently deprived me of wine and my arrest here because I tried to flirt with a nymph named Beryl Grace who was off limits, but that was just an excuse for him to have her for himself"

Grover's got a cough on hearing this.

"No, she was a mortal! You're confusing her with another woman who really was a nymph. "Chiron replied.

"I'm not sure, I'm the god of wine and so it's natural for my memory to be confused when I do not drink."

"Mr. D? Your father is Zeus and you are god of wine ... Dionysus? "Percy said.

"Di immortales, only now you realize? Chiron, did not I tell you were wasting your time?"

"He's young and it's only been a few hours since he learned of our existence, so it's kind of weird that he immediately finds one of the Olympian dojos throwing Pinochle on a porch."

"I hate it when you have a point. Brat, do you at least play Pinochle?"

"No, D."

"_Mr._ D, Jackson!"

"You do not have to call me Mr. D Jackson, but why can not I just call Dionysus, assuming you're really a god?"

Mr. D glared at him, but replied slowly,

"Because the names have power and call us in a informal way would annoy us, but do not worry about remembering that. Eventually you will call us by the complete names and this rule will just be an example of early installment weirdness! "

"Early installment weirdness?"

Mr. D just looked sideways as he crushed the empty tin of Pepsi Cola, to Chiron:

"What exactly did you teach this brat for? He does not even much understand references to random terms! Could you take him to see the camp before I turn him into a dolphin? "

"I agree, Percy will come with me so I can explain further without you risking painful death. And Grover, you'd better get back with the elders caprine and say that at least you brought a demigod alive this time ."

"This time?" Percy questioned.

Grover sighed and sadly trotted into the woods.

And then Chiron jumped out of the wheelchair, emerging the underside that really was a horse. He then led Percy to demonstrate the rest of the camp.

"As you can see, this is a haven for the demigods while their parents are busy with important things, like reaffirming their dominion for the umpteenth time, trying to kill each other even if they are immortal and above all: Else making more children like you."

Looking at the landscape before him, down the hill, it was possible to see an arena, a wall of lava perhaps was real, a large strawberry garden a lot of booths that stood in U formation and in the center, there was a fireplace where girl was warming up marshmallow.

"But why should there be a refuge here? Should not they be in Greece? "

"The gods follow the strength of Western civilization; they went from Greece to Rome and then to various other powers of the world until we arrived here. Unfortunately, the demigods are hunted by monsters and therefore, they need a place to live in safety. "

"And why does it look like there are only young people like me?"

"Unfortunately, the demigods do not live for very long and rarely go beyond their twenties, although there are a lot of important examples that have passed the fifty years and had time to make history, like George Whashington, a child of Athena."

"Alright, so you're the real Chiron? Was that centaur badly wounded and sacrificed by Hercules? But then you should not be dead?"

"Oh, I'm glad you paid attention to my classes, although I spent half of each class talking about my deeds. And yes, technically I've been sacrificed, but a lot has happened in those five thousand years! "

After some time, they reached the center of the camp, where the cabins were.

"So that means the underworld also exists? Maybe I could find my mother? "

"I'm sorry about your mother, but I do not think you can just go there ..."

A deafening scream was heard from the wood that lay near the cabin. Annabeth, who was approaching them, looked uncomfortably at the forest.

"Well, it looks like I have to help Grover. Annabeth, could you continue to guide Percy to me? "

"Oh, of course, although this is tedious, less when it's time to present my cabin."

Chiron trotted quickly into the woods, leaving Percy and Annabeth alone.

"You are my dream girl!"

"Considering how dreams always mean future problems, I would be a bit worried. Well, now I'm going to introduce the booths. "

"Cabin 12 represents the children of Dionysus, stay away from the parties because otherwise, Mr. D would be envious. Cabin 11 is from Hermes, where are the children of Hermes and those who have not yet been claimed by the immortal father or mother because apparently Hermes is the only one who wants to be hospitable, although hospitality should be a very bad business because the ancient Greeks..."

"Unclaimed? Does that mean I'm going to have to stay there for how long?"

"Cabin 10, Aphrodite, the cabin of the vain narcissists. Cabin 9, Hephaestus, his children like to steal my ideas and my siblings but do a poor job. Cabin 8, Artemis, she has no children for being a maiden goddess, but she has hunters who come here from time to time, but do not try to talk to them. Cabin 7, Apollo, their children love everything their father does like poetry, music, medicine, singing, writing, the Sun itself and everything else in their father's domain."

"Apollo must be very proud."

The weather grew more sunny as Annabeth's gray eyes flashed as she stared at the cabin, then she was no longer bored and exaggerated.

"This magnificent Athena's cabin, where the most intelligent and wise children of the camp are, has the best architecture of this place. Untrained eyes will say that this cabin has never changed since the creation of this camp, but the truth is that perfection is steadily reformed for something even better with each passing day, unfortunately others are too dumb to realize it. Thanks to the gods, this is..."

"Your cabin, Athena is your mother."

She stared at Percy as if he had begun to speak in Latin.

"How did you realize that? Maybe it's one of my half-brothers?"

"Is not she a maiden goddess like Artemis?"

"Well, my mother reproduces by intellect and us, Athena's children, are born exactly like her. Literally from her divine mind. "

"I never hear about it in Chiron class."

"Well, mortals may not have kept all the information about divine biology. Now let me continue! Cabin 5, Ares, they are quarrelsome and could have the same IQ as the other campers if they did not waste their precious time trying to prove to us that brute force is better than intelligence in addition to using an old and tired meme. Cabin four, Demeter, they talk to plants and we ridicule them even if they are responsible for the agriculture for us to support, along with the children of Dionysus and basically are the Hufflepuff House."

"And the remaining three are Poseidon, Hera and Zeus? They look great, but it looks like there's no one there and should not have a home for Hades?"

"Hera obviously has no kids because she's too busy trying to get back at Zeus's betrayals and she's the goddess of marriage. The big three used to have several children, but..."

"Hey, looks like there's a newbie!"

A muscular girl appeared with a young blonde, who made Percy think of Xena the Warrior Princess and Gabrielle, but they were also accompanied with an African American boy.

"Clarisse, this is redundant! Percy, she is Ares's child, while Silene is the daughter of Aphrodite and Beckendorf, son of Hephaestus. "

"Are not your immortal parents the ones with a love affair? It's ironic to see these three together! " Percy said.

"What are you insinuating, newbie? No matter, I'll use you as a punching bag to train!"

"Clarisse, even a child of Aphrodite like me, knows that beginners are not good at training. Do not you agree with me, Charlie? Hey, Charlie?" Silene exclaimed.

Charlie seems to be analyzing Percy as if he were a robot.

"With those skinny arms, I think he must not be a child of Hephaestus or he needs a lot of training ... Sorry, did you say something Silene?"

Clarisse sighed.

"Where is your demigod pride? This newcomer has arrived now and killed a monster, stealing my first chance to fight in several months! At best, he must be strong or ... Well, unlucky his because I'm not holding on! "

"Is this how you always welcome in here?"

"Welcome? I would say..."

"Clarisse, no!" Annabeth exclaimed.

Clarisse grabbed Percy and ran to the nearest bathroom.

"This is Sparta!"

"Seriously? Are you going to throw me in a toilet? Is not there something more original?"

"No matter what you say, this was normal in Sparta, Sparta today and Sparta forever!"

"She was not joking when she said about forced meme!"

Carisse was going to play Percy in the toilet as if it were basketball, but then the bathroom floor began to shake.

Carisse ignored the lane and threw Percy into the toilet, but a strong jet of water came out of the way and somehow skirted Percy, but it hit Clarisse. She was knocked over the other side of the bathroom, but when she tried to get up, more water shot from other private and bathroom sinks.

Carisse ignored the lane and threw Percy into the toilet, but a strong jet of water came out of the way and somehow skirted Percy, but it hit Clarisse. She was knocked over the other side of the bathroom, but when she tried to get up, more water shot from other private and bathroom sinks, creating some cracks all over the bathroom. In the end, the whole bathroom was soaking wet and Clarisse was stunned as Percy wondered what had happened. Suddenly, Charlie, Silene and Annabeth entered.

"This is amazing!" Charlie exclaimed.

"Why are you so animated?"

"Because all this mess involves mechanical overhauls and even a chance to dig something down there! If you cannot see this opportunity, certainly is not a child of Hephaestus!"

"And if you're not disgusted and thinking about how to make this mess become something aesthetically beautiful, it certainly is not Aphrodite's child." Silene said, going to help Clarisse.

Percy saw Annabeth smile confidently at the situation.

"Are you smiling for the same reason?"

"Yes, but you can help us capture the flag!"


	4. Chapter 4

** _Train at the last minute, do almost nothing in flag catch and gain recognition_ **

Annabeth took Percy to the cabin Hermes. There was no problem on the way, but she abruptly stopped and gripped Percy tightly as they arrived in front of the cabin.

"Wait!" Annabeth said.

Hermes's cabin looked strangely calm. No one was on the porch, the windows and the door were closed.

"What?"

"They always invent something for beginners because their father is the god of tricks."

"Is there a cabin that doesn't hurt newbies?"

Annabeth didn't answer, just motioned to follow her as she walked slowly. Percy did the best thing that came to mind, walked normally to the cabin and opened the door. It looked like there was literally nothing within meters of the cabin. Annabeth grunted as she followed him.

"Seaweed head! You won't last long being reckless!"

In front of them, a dim light came on, illuminating only a wheelchair right in front of him, where a blond boy sat. Then he turned around like a villain calmly holding a cat, waiting for the hero to arrive. He said:

"I was waiting for you, Jackson!"

"Stop kidding, Luke. That's not funny after you do it a hundred times!"

Despite the scar and the sadistic smile, Luke didn't really look like a villain and probably wasn't waiting for Percy. But the most bizarre thing about him was that the cat on his lap was a scorpion.

"Hi Annabeth. Looks like you brought me a potential ally for my Machiavellian plans."

Laughter was heard from the darkness in the cabin. Annabeth looked away, looking uncomfortable.

"Oh, Luke! It's so embarrassing when you greet me that I end up acting out of character!"

Percy remembered what his mother always said. It's out of character was a serious matter, but he only knew them both a few hours ago, so he didn't know what to say. Luke just stared at Percy unblinking for ten seconds and then said:

"So you mean you defeated a monster, destroyed a toilet, and defeated three troubled demigods on the first day? And still undetermined?"

"At least two weren't exactly troublemakers, but that means undetermined."

"Yes, unfortunately it is still undetermined!" Annabeth exclaimed.

Voices of sigh and desolation were heard from the darkness of the cabin. Luke just stared at Percy for a while as the scorpion on his lap shifted uncomfortably, but Luke calmed him. Annabeth said:

"Well, I'll train. Luke, try to leave him whole until the flag is captured and he has to be available to help me."

"I solemnly swear I won't do anything good!" Luke said.

All the cabin lights came on, revealing the campers they were watching in secret. The place had several beds and objects scattered on the floor that could have been stolen or a trap for someone to try to catch. Everyone looked at the main switch of the cabin, where was a large young man who did not try to hide that it was he who interrupted. Luke just laughed.

"Chris Rodriguez, dare you mess up a trick done by the cabin leader? It shows that you are not like the rest of the hive and therefore a rebel who could fit into my secret plans."

The campers just looked confused with each other.

"Sorry, I was just looking for my bed because I wanted to lie down and couldn't see." Chris replied as if that conversation had already happened several times.

"No problem, someday we'll have a real place to call home." Luke exclaimed and turned to Annabeth, "It's like the old days, isn't it, Annabeth?"

"Luke, this is our home and please, I don't want to remember this before the others. See you later." Annabeth replied darkly.

Annabeth hurried out, the campers dismissed through the cabin, and then Luke stood, holding the scorpion that seemed a little aggressive toward Percy.

"Don't worry, Skorupi is a scorpion from the deep, contains a poison that can kill you in a minute and attacks those who threaten the owner, but he doesn't bite." Luke said smiling.

"Is that why you the leader?"

Luke looked confused, but then continued.

"So how about talking about the mortal side of our families? You're indeterminate, so you probably have some resentment for your immortal father. My father is Hermes, I met him once and have some personal issues with them, so maybe we can get together." it works very well! "

"Not sure what you want me to say."

A trumpet noise was heard by all. Luke exclaimed:

"Now it's time for us to eat, but if today we will pay respects to the gods, tomorrow we can eat without wasting our food! Don't worry, Percy, you'll understand what I mean!"

In the pavilion, the tables were separated by booths and there was a huge bonfire to burn the rest of food as an offering to the gods. Percy questioned:

"There's no roof, so what to do when it rains? Wouldn't that bonfire go out?"

"This is not the time to question how things work out! The gods just wanted things to be like this and so all we can do is distract them with false pleasures." Luke replied, looking over his shoulder as he threw whole plates into the fire.

"Can't the gods eat this naturally?"

"Yes, I see them gorge each year on the winter solstice! That's when campers will visit Olympus."

"That doesn't mean you could talk to your dad more often!"

"I can't say anything the gods don't want to hear, especially if it's from us."

Percy turned to see the marshmallow girl he had seen near the booths. She looked like a girl from pioneer times and their eyes looked like she was much older than she seemed to be, but she just smiled, saying:

"I'm the girl on fire! Want to know my name and who will betray you in the future?"

Confused, Percy turned and saw that Luke was gone. After reuniting and having just one afternoon of extensive training that consisted of Percy learning to not just be a punching bag, they went into the arsenal.

Percy soon realized that Riptdie was still with him, which made Luke reply bitterly.

"Chiron never gave me something like this and I've been longer than you, so I'll blacklist him. It would have helped me on my mission too."

"What kind of mission? Like an impossible mission?"

"No, it was to steal the golden apple of immortality from the Garden of Hesperide, but all I got was that scar and a mockery about Hercules having done it first and for hundreds of other demigods in the last five thousand years!"

"Well, did they at least let you have this apple of immortality?"

Luke smiled bitterly as he picked up a sharp sword.

"Yes, that suits me very well for my evil plan!"

Annabeth looked worried.

"Luke, you've been talking this way for five years now. I understand that, but we should have a serious talk about it if you're really planning something dangerous."

"Our semi-divine life is already dangerous in one way or another, Annabeth." Luke said coldly, but then smiled as if nothing had happened, "Why don't you say your plans for flag capture while we just follow what you say?"

"Yes, this is the spirit, Luke!"

All the campers went to a stage where Chiron and Mr. D stood, who couldn't seem more bored. Mr. D sighed and then said:

"Attention campers, tonight the blue team will be Annie Bell and her minions formed by the rest of the camp, except for the Ares cabin that makes up the whole red team. All forest area are allowed, all cheating items are acceptable, but unfortunately you are not allowed to kill each other even though your guns can accidentally cause it. Anyone who breaks this rule will be without dessert, but if the dead camper in question is someone I don't like, they will be rewarded with unlimited food for the rest of their lives. and will have no social obligation! "

Chiron gave a fake cough, drawing Mr. D's attention:

"What? I'm trying to be nice as you said! Oh, I was forgetting, if you again try to use this game as an excuse to reenact Woodstock in the woods without me knowing it, I'll turn you all into dolphins and turn this camp into a water park for a year! May luck always be in your favor and let the games begin! "

The teams broke up and went into the woods. Annabeth replied to everyone:

"I hope you all remember my plans!"

"What plan?" Percy questioned.

"Oh, I didn't say anything to you because I don't intend to manipulate you for now. I want you to just patrol the river's edge, away from our movements, to prevent novice mistakes from disturbing us."

"I thought you wanted my help."

"Yes, eventually I'll do it, but not now. You still have a lot to learn, as not to slow our moves. May luck be in your favor, seaweed head."

Annabeth left with her footmen while Percy was alone on the river's edge. Percy sighed.

At least I think I can avoid trouble now."

A roar echoed across the river, shouting sparingly. Percy saw Clarisse jump over the river, holding a spear, along with two other campers and she ran at him, screaming hysterically:

"Get ready to die, you miserable punk!"

Percy tripped, falling into the river, but Clarisse had managed to hit his arm, making a grazing wound, causing him to fall into the river.

"Hey, weren't mutilations forbidden?"

"Don't worry, I will say you spoke badly of Mr. D, so he will give me a lot of reward as a bonus after turning you into mash! Now get up and fight me!"

Clarisse made an exaggerated pose to move the spear and accidentally knocked her brothers over, but Percy quickly got up and countered. With a crash, the spear broke and Clarisse was thrown across the river.

"That's not fair! I've been training a lot longer than you, so you can only be the protagonist of some story or at worst ... A mary sue!" Clarisse growled.

"What are you talking about?"

Chiron and the other campers appeared from the top of the hill, with Luke holding the red flag.

"The game is over, the blue team is victorious, so you can already stop trying to kill each other!"

The campers began howling Luke's name like cheerleaders.

"That was close, I thought she was going to skin you, but then you were all berserker mode." Annabeth's voice was heard beside Percy.

Annabeth took off her invisibility hat, revealing herself before Percy.

And then they heard a roar across the river, where was a fierce wolf-like creature. One of the campers, Lou Ellen Blackstone shouted:

"That's Grim, we're all doomed!"

"Speak for yourselves, I will die fighting and kill anyone who gets in my way!" Clarisse growled taking bits of her spear.

Grim jumped at Percy, knocking his stream down again and began biting him on the arm. But the creature was shot by Chiron's arrows and tumbled sideways, while Percy instinctively put his arm in the water and began to heal the wound. Annabeth exclaimed:

"Oh my gods, that was a Hellhound from the punishment camps! Who let the dog in?"

"Who cares? I just know Percy stole my chance to fight a monster again!" Clarisse looked at Percy.

Chiron paid no attention and looked at Percy's arm.

"First, you blew up the entire bathroom and now healed in the creek, so what could that mean?"

Suddenly a bright glow came from Percy. It was a prism that was shaped like a trident. Chiron exclaimed:

"The bloodline is determined! Percy, you are the son of Poseidon, the god of the seas, storm and most importantly, lord of the horses, so I bow to you. Everyone, do this if you want to live!"

And then everyone bowed to Percy's confusion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> N / A: It took some time, but it only now occurred to me that I had accidentally cut off the first sentence. Indeed, nothing important was lost, but the transcription between the chapters became strange.


End file.
